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Monday 27 February 2012

This is your future calling....Hold please!

So it's been a long time since I posted...again. The half-term before christmas was really tough emotionally. I was working my ass off for school and well, the Mean Reds set in right after my last post and didn't lift til I went home to visit my family for Christmas. I was in a really bad place emotionally and I just wasn't sure how to move forward. Part of the reason for that is because my life has been on hold for a long time now. 

Around a year ago a colleague suggested that I might benefit from taking part in a teaching exchange. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that he was right. An exchange would give me the opportunity to experience life in a different country whilst retaining the security of my home and job here.

Being the go-getting gal I am, I immediately started researching the programmes which I was eligible for and after much searching I decided that the US/UK Fulbright Exchange was the one for me. I went and spoke to my boss and line manager, securing their support. I spoke to my family and friends for the same reason. Applications for the 2012/2013 cohort opened last September and my (endless) forms were submitted by the end of the second week. 

And thus the waiting game began. The wait until November to see if I made it through to the interview stage. 
Except they extended the deadline til January 9th. FML. Did I mention I have bugger all patience?

Luckily, I made it through to the interviews, which were at the end of January. I worked hard on the presentation they asked us to do, and found the perfect outfit. The big day came around pretty damn quick and I tootled off to London to give it my best shot.

After that I had to wait again. Only a week this time, to see whether I had made it to the shortlist. 

I did. 

So now I'm waiting for the last time. This time I'm waiting for a match. A teacher in the US who matches my skills/timetable, who would be suitable to swap with me. 

It's been four weeks since I heard I made the shortlist and those weeks have flown by. I wasn't bothered at all, as my life is busy and I knew that I wouldn't hear anything til March. However, the wording of their email was ambiguous. 

You will not hear from us again until March 2012. By Third week of March you will be notified whether or not it has been possible to find a US teacher to match you with.

Now to me, that means that I could hear from them any time between March 1st and March 21st. So I could know in 3 days...or 3 weeks. 

Patience has left the building people! I was fine during February, because I knew there was no way I would know until March. My mind could process that and live with it, but Holyshitsnacks people! I NEED a deadline! I need a finite point where this waiting game will end!

Right now I cannot look to the future. I cannot book theatre tickets or a holiday. For me, for now, life does not exist beyond the end of term in July. 

Pray for me people. I want this so badly, but right now, I just need to know either way, good or bad.

I need the wait to be over.