PSA for new mamas

It's bloody hectic this time of year, and I'm discovering that it's twice as bad...and twice as fun...with a baby. However several things seem to keep coming up in my parenting groups that are really starting to get on my tits & I've decided to address them. As I tell anyone before I offer advice, feel free to ignore me and scroll on, I won't get butthurt over it. This is just intended to hopefully hold a candle...(or flame thrower, pick your poison) to those first 100 days of darkness of the fourth trimester.

1. "My partner sleeps in the spare room cos they need to get some sleep for work" 

Are you frigging kidding me? Being a parent is a full time job and one which requires boatloads of energy. They need to help with the night tasks, end of. I know it can be hard. We breastsleep, so the husbeast can't really help with feeds, but if all the kid needs is a bum change I hand him over and go right back to sleep. Look at it this way. If you were putting your child in a daycare type place, would you be happy if the staff were running on sometimes less than an hour's sleep and no food or drink? I sure as hell wouldn't be, so why expect it of yourself? Work out a routine that makes sure they pull their weight. For us, the husbeast gets up 30 minutes earlier than he used to and takes the boy downstairs for a bum change and a play, while I starfish across the bed and snore my head off. After an hour he dumps the baby back in beside me and I give the lil dude another feed. The baby goes back to sleep and I can get up and start getting ready for the day in peace and quiet...except I can't shower. The kid totally has a radar for that thing and loses his shit the second my toe touches the water...which leads me onto my next point. 

2. "I know it's ungrateful/terrible but I just want to feel like me again/pee in peace/shower alone"

Why is that so bad? Does your partner get to do these things? Then why the hell shouldn't you? Look, being mum is hard. 9 times out of 10 the kid will want you, and while your partner is at work it'll be nigh on impossible to do anything alone, but when they get home all bets are off. You deserve the chance to wallow in a bath or shower once in a while.

And talking about wallowing, or feeling yourself again, will you cut yourself some slack? You just created life and that shit does not come easy. Not to mention the fact that that wee life's mission is to break you. You will have changed. In so many ways for the better, but I can understand that some people will struggle with their new body. You have to live with that body though, so try to find ways to love it, or change it. I chose to love mine. I try to have one nice long shower on a Sunday morning, where I leisurely wash my hair and shave my legs (ok, so I don't always manage those) and spend at least 30 minutes without being covered in pee, snot, poop or puke. It doesn't always happen, and these last few weeks have been hectic so it's been snatched chances to wash here and there and my poor legs haven't seen the light of day in forever. If it makes you feel better, before the shower I just had, I could measure my leg hair with a ruler and it took an entire tube of hair removal cream to defuzz them. Uh huh, that's right...A WHOLE TUBE OF VEET! I'm petty sure that new civilisations were forming in the rainforests on my legs 😳 

3. "You've got everything together, how do you do it all?" 

I don't. Basically, something has to slide. I pick my battles each day and decide what has to be done and what can get put off. I'm incredibly lucky. The husbeast has no expectations of a clean and tidy house, or food on the table when he gets home. He fully understands that some days it's all I can do to get the kid and I dressed, let alone tidy or even leave the house. God bless the man, he never, but never, leaves work without asking if I need him to pick up dinner and I won't tell you how often I say yes. We have a joint cleaning blitz at the weekend. I do the kitchen, he does the bathroom and we both hit the lounges/bedrooms/laundry. I've started laying out clothes for the baby and me the night before, so I'm not faffing about in the morning and I no longer waste a trip. If I'm heading upstairs to pee, I take up laundry, or bring it down to the machine.

But most of all, I try to keep my expectations of myself fairly low. Is the kid alive? Has he been fed? Is he clean and warm? If the answer is yes, then I give myself a pat on the back and a choccie biccie. Go team me! 

You have to stop thinking that what you see on social media is real cos it's really not. We only show our best to the world, so of course we look like we've got it all together. We are terrified that if we show our true selves, child services will show up at the door to take our kids away. 

It does get easier, I promise, but nothing will change until you make the changes. You have to be the driving force. Whether that is accepting your mumtum (or taking steps to get rid of it), or telling your partner to suit up and be a parent too, nothing will get better until you set it in motion. 

Good luck and Merry Christmas! Now excuse me while I continue to frantically pack for our first ever flight with a baby...or pray for me, that works too! 

 

''Tis the season!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and we are shrugging off the the doom and gloom of illness to don our brightest most cheerful duds. I adore Christmas. The sparkle and lights and shiny shiny lovelies just lift my heart. My wonderful husbeast is a bit of a grinch, but three Christmases in and he's slowly coming around...he's even offered to wear a Christmas jumper this year! The last few years, the school I work at has taken part in the Save The Children Christmas Jumper Day event. On Friday 16th December, all across the U.K. People will dust off their favourite Christmas jumper and wear it for charity. Jamie, Phil and I will be taking part at home and so I thought I'd round up some of my favourite Christmas sweaters in case you fancy joining us. I will apologise now, cos this post is super pic heavy.

First up is Evans:

A little pricey for the novelty market, they range from £25-£38 and run from truly cheesy to the slightly more tasteful ivory fair isle (I might yet go back for that!)

 

 

 

New Look:

I was a little disappointed in their efforts this year. Prices run from £15-£28 and the candy cane version wasn't too bad in person but I didn't bother buying.

 

 

Yours clothing : 

I won't lie, I'm so so tempted by the "Handsoff my pudding" one. For real. If it wasn't just a tee shirt I'd have pulled the trigger already, but the weather has finally turned and jumpers are essential. 

 

George @Asda had a slightly better selection. I've got the gingerbread house & the baubles sitting in my online basket waiting to go once all my gifts are bought, as I'm just not convinced I can resist them.

 

 

 

Tesco had a range, but to be honest I still feel that they are a little pricey for something you can wear such a short time. I quite like the calories don't count one, and I'm tempted by the Disney holidays red jumper too. 

 

 

My final contender is Peacocks and that is where I got the sweater I'm wearing today. At £16 it is soft and warm, if a little thin. The colours are bright and I love the vintage feel to the pattern

. 

 

 

My little Elf and I also checked out Primark today, but I was underwhelmed 

 

So what beauties have you discovered? Feel free to share your festive finds with us, and definitely come join us on the 16th to raise some funds for charity! 

 

MIA....or almost

Well it's been about two weeks since I last posted. I thought we'd hit the bottom, but the following day (after another horrible puke-filled night) the GP referred us to the hospital. My poor lil bird  spent the next six days being fed through a tube, as he was just so tuckered out from the constant vomiting and the coughing that disturbed his sleep, he couldn't find the energy to suckle. A viral infection with bronchiolitis was what they told us, but all I knew was that my wee man was dehydrated and so far from being himself that I barely recognised him.

Being as it is bronchiolitis season, the place was packed & we spent two nights on the assessment unit waiting for a bed on the children's ward. But even with the move to the ward our problems didn't end. No one was deliberately negligent, but they were so overworked and understaffed that problems were unavoidable. My biggest annoyance, of many, was finding that the hospital had either lost, thrown away, or given away to another patient (😱) breast milk that I had fought hard to express. You see while my little boy is doing just fine feeding from the source, I've never been a great pumper. Apart from the first day my milk came in, I've always struggled to get more than 50mls between the two boobs & when he started refusing bottles around 4 months, I stopped bothering. As they were giving the boy 60-80mls per feed, I spent the first few days pumping around the clock like a crazy lady, and panicking when I didn't have enough. 

At this point my tribe went into action. I am so incredibly lucky to have found the haven of the Retro Mummies & Pregnant Pin-Ups group on Facebook. The women there are strong, fierce, non-judgemental and a force to be reckoned with when united to a cause. Between them, they put the call out to all their groups and before I knew it, my messenger inbox was filling up with offers of donor milk. Total strangers to me and my boy went out of their way, in some cases by many miles, to bring sustenance to my child when I was not enough. Women from as far as Luton & Leighton Buzzard made their way to MK General Hospital with bags of liquid gold to help get my wee man back on the mend. With the pressure taken off me, I was able to attempt to get some sleep (I'd been pumping hourly to try to keep ahead of the feeds) and to concentrate on being there for my baby. 

There are not enough words in any language to tell these ladies just how much their kindness and thoughtfulness meant. I was going out of my mind trying to be all and do everything and their donation gave a much needed respite that allowed me to focus on the baby. Between the kindness of strangers, and the support of our families, and my tribe, I survived our stay. There were many times I thought I'd crack, but every single time there was a mama there to hold a candle to my darkness. Even when I live streamed my hoarse, croaking lullabies at 2am, god help them, they sat through them. 

Thankfully, a week on from our discharge, things are slowly improving. All three of us still have a lingering cough, we are still catching up on our sleep and the baby is clingy as fuck...but we are home. We are past the worst & taking it easy. Lil bird even took most of his grandparents (my daddy had to stay home and mind the shop, so we will repeat later on for him) to meet Father Christmas. Despite the beginnings of separation anxiety, he was so good! We are excited about the holidays ahead and can't wait to see what Santa has in store.

To all our wonderful donors- Thank you seems so small, but it is honestly, and truly heartfelt. To my amazing tribe - Thank you. Always, always, thank you. To our parents -thank you for all the wonderful support, it was and is truly appreciated . To my long-suffering hubs -we can do this! 

 

 

From the depths

They say pride comes before a fall, and they aren't far wrong. As you will know from my last post, we have the lurgy. The plague. First it was the much dreaded norovirus, and now it's a viral infection. It's bad enough at 39, but at almost six months old it's pretty unbearable, especially when the idiots who are raising you don't have a clue. My poor poor boy's health goes up and down faster than a prostitute's knickers these days. In fact, days aren't so bad, it's the nights that are a killer. I smugly thought we were getting over it...but I was wrong.

You are warned that parenting is hard. Every man and his goddamned dog revel in reminding you that you'll never sleep again, but what few people mention is the guilt. The helplessness. The frustration. The anger. At 26 weeks, Lil Bird is trying hard to talk to us. He chatters and chunters to us all the time, but actual words elude him. There have been a few times we've thought he said "yeah" but we aren't convinced. He can't tell us what is hurting and we can't explain to him why snot is pouring out of every orifice or why his throat hurts. That's a lot to handle right there on its own. But add in sleep deprivation and you discover a very special circle of hell reserved just for parents.

I have cried bucketloads this past week. My patience is long gone. I hate everyone and everything. I hate this bug. I hate being covered in puke. I hate the baby wiping snot on my tits. I hate forcing toast in when I'm not hungry, because I need to fuel up to make milk for the baby. I hate not knowing what to do to help him as he cries after yet another bout of coughing till he pukes. I hate seeing him in pain and unhappy. I hate my hubs ability to sleep through bloody anything, including being puked on. I hate resenting my child wanting me and not my husband to comfort him. Most of all, I hate that I'm having all these negative hateful feelings.

Last night I hit a new low. Understandably, the baby is sick of random shit that is not milk going down is throat and he has taken to protesting against the calpol. I thought teenagers had the duck face market locked down, but they aren't a patch on a baby refusing a calpol syringe! It is utterly heartbreaking to hear them cry, and move their head to try to avoid the meds, and I was already exhausted, so you can imagine my horror when my child unmistakably said "Mama" in the most forlorn and hopeless wee voice. It is soul destroying to hear that your baby's first words are a plea for you to leave them the fuck alone.

I sincerely hope we are turning a corner, and that we can soon put this behind us...I, for one, am not feeling worthy of the title of mum right now and I'm sending big hugs to those feeling the same.

He ain't heavy, he's my baby

So we've been doing a bit of travelling, the boy and I. We visited a pal in Bristol last weekend then headed on down the country to Stonehenge to stay with a mummy pal. Her wee man has been under the weather, her hubs is away so we thought we'd come keep her company for a while.

Bet she regrets that now.

You see we must have picked up a bug, maybe at Bristol Aquarium, & my poor wee dude has been so ill. Diarrhoea, projectile vomiting...the works. When his eyes rolled in his head and he went floppy, we called an ambulance, diagnosed with gastroenteritis, we came back to ride it out only for my friend and I to get food poisoning the next day. Talk about disastrous! We had to call my hubs to come nurse us!

Being sick with a tiny baby is hard. Being sick with a 6 & 9.5 month old who are both poorly but still want to play is hell. So here is my advice.

You aren't a superhero so cut yourself some slack,
Call in the cavalry. Take whatever help is offered and take it with a smile cause you need it.
Hydrate hydrate, hydrate
Screw the laundry, send someone to Tesco for new jammies or sleepsuits and go back to bed.
Antibacterial wipes, hand gel & bottles of water are your new best friends so get that pal you sent to Tesco to stock up.
Make a comfy nest with blankies, pillows & favourite toys. Blankets can go through a hot wash to kill germs. Much easier than trying to clean a duvet. They're great for layering too, so you can change your level of warmth as your body temp goes up & down.

It will pass. Yes, right now I feel like I've been hit by a bus. My body aches from retching, my head hurts and the room is swimming, but I'm still cuddling my poor sweet boy who would only sleep on mama tonight, no matter how much daddy tried to relieve me. We have turned a corner and things will get better. Don't give up hope...you've got this!

Milky Time!

I'm so happy this week. I'm finally back on dairy products and good lord but it is good. Who knew that a tall cold glass of milk could be better than a cocktail? Well...OK... I won't get carried away, it's as good as a cocktail.

See almost 2 months ago, I took the lil bird to the GP as we had had a silent reflux diagnosis and were following up on how the new medicine was working. We had tried Gaviscon but all it did was make him constipated and give him acid farts, poor guy. The next step was to move onto Ranitidine and it was great at stopping his arching and writhing in pain, but shortly after he began taking it, he had an awful tummy and was having up to 12 dirty nappies a day. I was pretty sure it was a bug, but the doc thought it might be CMPA and asked me to go dairyfree for at least 6 weeks to see if it made any difference to the symptoms.

Like any 21st century mama, I googled the shit out of Cow's Milk Protein Allergy, and the more I read, the more I was convinced that it wasn't what he had, but I was happy to give it a whirl to see if things improved. It didn't start too well. I was smugly knocking back Lactofree milk and thinking that that this whole DF thing wasn't that bad at all...until I realised that it wasn't actually DF. Just lactose free. Oops! Once I'd figured that out and started again, the dirty nappies had died off back to normal levels. Still I persevered, losing half a stone in the process (cutting out snacks really works!) and I made it through 6 weeks of being truly DF.

This week I was told to have a bit of a diary binge, and then monitor any reactions the wee man might have. Monday morning I breakfasted on a large glass of milk and some biccies. For lunch I had scones with jam and heaped with clotted cream. Tea was a thick creamy risotto and for dessert I had sponge pudding with toffee custard and more cream. I waited anxiously for any adverse reactions, putting his old grottiest clothes on in case his bum protested and he blew out a nappy.

Hours went by and my boy was sunny and chirpy. He napped well for a change. That night was the best night's sleep he'd had in weeks. I put it down to his swim class knocking him out, but when Tuesday dawned he was still cheerful and happy, napping well in the day and last night he actually slept for 5 hours straight!
FIVE HOURS!!!!

Until Monday night, my kid hadn't gone more than 1.5 hours between feeds since the experiment began. I'd assumed that as he was teething and in a growth spurt, the clusterfeeding was normal, but now I'm wondering if he was missing out on the dairy in my diet? Perhaps, like his mama, he is going to love all the creamy creamy things? Either way, 3 days in and my kid just seems to get happier each day. I think we can safely assume that he isn't allergic.

Praise all the gods, cos the thought of Christmas without dairy was making me super sad!

Just call me Ariel

A few months ago I was lucky enough to win a beautiful swimsuit from Forluna swimwear, on an Instagram competition held by the gorgeous Atomic Amber  I've wanted this suit for so long that I've lost count, but could never justify buying it for myself when I never went near water. Well, things change. I refuse to inflict my fears of water on my kid, so he started swimming lessons at 12 weeks old, and this lead to that most horrifying of tasks...buying a swimsuit. 

We've all been there, standing in the oh so slightly yellow light of a grotty changing room, trying to squeeze your wobbly bits into what feels more like a sausage casing than a piece of clothing. We know the futility of peering through the racks of gorgeous kinis and suits for that elusive bigger size before admitting defeat and picking up that bland skirted monstrosity that you saw an elderly lady try on earlier. I don't think I know a single woman who hasn't had at least one experience like this in their lifetime. 

It shouldn't be like this. I do know one kickass lady in NYC who works in swimwear and they have some great stuff, but I've struggled to find anything in the UK so I was beyond ecstatic to find I'd won a suit, and the suit of my choice, no less. There was no indecision. I may not have the stunning Atomic Amber's figure, but I wanted the gorgeous green Esther Williams suit she had featured in her giveaway. I'd coveted it for years and now was my chance!

I've been holding off on reviewing, convinced that I'd find time to get some decent photos taken of me in the suit, but who am I kidding? I'm a mama to a 5 month old baby...finding time for things is almost impossible! So here we are. I got the husbeast to snap a few pics after our class and of course there is the selfie stick "it's here" photo from months back. I'm not disappointed. Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact! The fabric quality is fantastic, thick and stretchy and it's held it's colour well. Sizing seems fairly accurate too. I'm currently a U.K. 22 for the boobs (HH/J cups) and the size 22 fits ok. You may want to size up a little, but I'm happy with mine as it is. The elastane content seems to be pretty good, as I regularly pop a boob over the top to feed the lil dude...swimming is thirsty work! It goes through the machine each week and washes like a dream. But more importantly, I feel like a frigging mermaid in it. I know I am not, but I feel tall and lithe and sparkling, and I have gone from dreading going near water, to looking forward to our weekly lesson. Obviously, the good instructor has a lot to do with this, but feeling confident in my fabulous suit sure as hell doesn't hurt 😉 

Now I've got my eye on their retro two pieces...maybe in a pretty print this time? Anchors? Polka dots? Who knows...but I'm surely feeling brave enough to rock a bikini these days! 

 

 

Service With A Smile

During my pregnancy I looked at the information available to me and decided that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I've been lucky and have a lot of support. My journey is a whole other post waiting to be written, but being a vintage fashion mama when you are both breastfeeding and plus size isn't easy at all. For a start, there's very little to find in store...you are pretty much limited to online shopping. Then there's sizing. No two companies seem to use the same damn size chart! This is particularly frustrating post partum, when most women's bodies are in a state of flux anyway. After spending a small fortune on both feeding friendly clothes and return postage, I decided to regal you with some of the service experiences I've had. 

See in the social media age, good customer service is more important than ever. It takes just minutes for that pissed off customer's tweet to go viral and contrary to popular opinion, not all publicity is good! The vintage world is still relatively small and it takes even less time for word to get around. I'm glad to say that my experiences have been predominantly good. I've discovered a couple of new to me brands and most of them have been fantastic. Not all though. I'm going to stick to my primary teaching roots and follow the "2 stars and a wish" format today, and all items pictured or mentioned have been bought and paid for by me and I've deliberately chosen companies where I've had a slight issue, so I can compare and contrast their approach to a problem. 

First up is the UK's own Voodoo Vixen  I discovered them through the lovely Atomic Amber and was thrilled to find they'd recently updated their "curve" plus size line. Over two orders I bought two gorgeous embroidered cardigans and and two dresses. The first order had just one cardigan, which came so quickly, and was such lovely quality that I went back to try a little more. However, after 10 days had passed without this order arriving, I got a little concerned and called them to see if the package had been mailed. I spoke to the lovely Jag who could not have been more helpful (or apologetic). Less than 24 hours after my call confirmed that the package had gone missing, I had a replacement my doorstep. Both dresses were gorgeous and great quality. Sadly one is going back as the buttons on the front don't actually work, but I've told the hubs he needs to take me out so I can wear the other soon 😉

 

Next on my list is The Oblong Box Shop , in the United States. I ordered 2 of their quintessential blouses, as I am really struggling to find affordable button front blouses with a retro feel. I desperately covet the gorgeous one from The Seamstress of Bloomsbury, but sadly she doesn't do ginormous milk truck sized ones. Within a few days of placing my order I received a stock email stating "your package has been delivered, please let us know if you haven't received it". So I let them know. They replied to say that the tracking claimed it was delivered to my address. Naturally, I responded politely, explaining that this was inaccurate. I also explained I'd had issues in the past where USPS claimed the item had been delivered...when all they'd done was handover to their U.K. Counterparts. It can take up to a month for a USPS parcel to get to me. Their response to this was pretty rubbish. They told me that the tracking said it was delivered and that once that occurred it was no longer their problem. They even said that they thought my packages were being stolen! To add insult to injury, when the blouses finally arrived, the sizing was totally off. Despite ordering a size 46"-48" chest, they were a good 4"-5" from being able to button up. I'm a uk 22 in the chest, and my size 14 mama is wearing one of the blouses in the picture below. There wasn't much extra room at all! Given their previous attitude and the cost of returning to the US, I guess I'm just going to have to try to sell them on in a B/S/T group.

 

Finally I've bought a few items from Miss Candyfloss  a Swedish based company. Oh the lovelies they have! I desperately want most of their new Librarian a girl collection. I feel like a bloody goddess in my trouser jumpsuit from there. I found them super helpful when I contacted them to ask which of their clothes had working buttons on the front and which would be most accessible for breastfeeding. The kind staffer who replied gave me a comprehensive list of styles to check out. However, the trousers I bought had some stitching missing from the crotch (that was embarrassing as I didn't notice until I'd worn them all day 🙄) I contacted the company and they replied quickly with an offer to replace. When I explained that it was an easy fix and I'd already sewn it, they gave me a discount code for my next order. They could not have been more helpful and the quality of their fabrics is fantastic. They are fast to respond, as well as ship and I cannot fault their service. I also cannot wait to have a few more pennies so I can use my discount code to order some of their dresses...and we won't mention the stunning silver jumpsuit that's just waiting to fall into my basket 😉 oh why must maternity pay be so low 😭

 

Three different experiences, three different countries and three different outcomes. Thoroughly recommend both MC and VV, but if I were you, I'd be wary about TOBS. What brands have you found that are fab? Can any of you help me find that elusive retro button front blouse? 

And a final plea to clothiers. Please state in your item description if the buttons work or not! It makes all the difference to us boobyfeeding mamas!

It takes a village...to save our sanity

I'm going to preface this post with a disclaimer: before I had a kid I was a judgemental tool. 

I'm also going to add that in the immortal words from one of my favourite movies (home for the holidays ) "opinions are like assholes: everyone has one and everybody thinks everyone else's stinks." 

Basically, feel free to take or leave what you read...no judgement here anymore. 

There's a huge amount of advice out there for parents, new or old, & most of it is unsolicited. There are so many different methods and schemes, books and dvds, all claiming to be the best way to raise your child. I'm not quite sure what I'd call my method. I guess it's a little like gentle or attachment parenting, but mostly I like to call it lazy. 

See here's the thing. Babies are exhausting. You know this going in, hell people tell you constantly during pregnancy. Every idiot you meet, particularly strangers who have clearly never been pregnant, will tell you to enjoy your sleep now cos you'll get none when the kid arrives (like that's even possible during pregnancy!) But nothing prepares you for it. The tiredness seems endless and gaping and like it will eat you whole. You suddenly discover that you can manage on four hours sleep after all and that you can all asleep almost any time or place.

My parenting choices came about to optimise my chances of getting anything like actual sleep. So yes, after years of swearing that I never would (it's sooo dangerous, don't you know) we co-sleep. As a breastfeeding mama, learning how to feed lying down was my proudest achievement. Screw the feeding in public thing, that was relatively easy! Feeding on your side, especially with ginormous boobages, not easy at all, particularly when your baby is wee, with a tiny wee mouth to boot. Now I find that The Minibeast is less windy after those feeds, sleeps better too as when he's starting to fuss in his sleep, I can just roll towards him, unclip my nightie and let him help himself to the buffet before he wakes enough to wail himself into a frenzy. BETTER SLEEP FOR EVERYONE! That being said, I understand that it isn't for everyone. We just know that it's working for us, and we were lucky enough to have a health visitor with some common sense who supports us. She's fantastic...a rare beast, I know. 

I also swore I'd never babywear. I told you, judgemental arsehole, right? Not only is it useful for getting shit done, it's actually really nice to have the kid close to you while still having hands free for snacking or knitting or setting your flying monkeys on that judgemental bitch who tried to give you advice. 

But here's my problem with some of the other mothers who also do these gentle/attachment approaches. They can't seem to understand that they don't work for everyone. Yes, in my house if I'm in doubt I whip a boob out. Yes, I co-sleep and yes slings were useful...but they don't always work for everyone. I swear that on some of the parenting forums I'm in, some poor people are vilified for mentioning a bottle or a buggy, instead of boob and sling! 

Hell yes, I can clean a kitchen with my kid strapped to me. Hell yes, I can cook and tidy or dance and rock with him dangling from my front. I am mama and I'm a badass who can do anything (shh, don't disillusion me, this teething thing is hard yo). But I don't WANT to have to clean with the kid strapped to me. I don't WANT to have to resort to pushing the buggy for three hours & god knows how many miles to keep my teething baby calm. Side note, that day was 

I love that I can breastfeed my son. We have a wonderful bond and I feel like a bloody superhero when I think of my body nourishing my kid. But we've had our rocky moments, though I'm saving them for another post. Breastfeeding isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. There are some days when I'd love to hand over my bottle refusing cherub & go to the movies, or for a cocktail with my friends. 

What a lot of people seem to have forgotten is that it takes a village to raise a child. I understand that gentle/attachment parenting is just going back to what has been the norm for hundreds of years, but we don't live like we did in those days. In those days people lived cheek by jowl and everyone mucked in to help out. Not these days. Not everyone has family or friends nearby, and not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive families. Some people are new to an area and are struggling to make friends. Some people have families or friends that are rather vocal and want to rule the roost, so they give in for some peace & quiet. Lives are fast & furious and some days feel like you don't even have time to breathe. 

You breastfeed? Whoopie for you, now go warm that bottle for your pal whose kid just shat everywhere for the second time today. 

You prefer bottles? That's nice dear, now fetch that boobyfeeding mama a glass of water, cos even if she hasn't said, she's probably parched as she hasn't been able to feed herself yet today. 

Being a parent is fucking hard work so can we please stop judging each other & dragging each other down? How about lending a hand or a listening ear instead? 

 

The lost skills of make do and mend

I've had a few issues recently with various items of clothing for both me and the lil bird, small things like hems coming down or trousers being too long. I've been genuinely stunned to discover how many people will just return items for this, or throw out a shirt that has lost a button. What happened to Make do and Mend? When did we become a throwaway society? The husbeast laughed when I said I was going to use an old shirt of his to cut down for the kid, yet he was pleased that the fabric was being given new life. Hell, it's a standing joke in my family that I'll cut up old curtains to make dresses. I'm not saying we should all be seamstresses or tailors, but simple skills such as hemming and sewing on a button are really useful and should be taught in school, but for those who weren't taught, here are a couple of tutorials for basic skills.

How to sew on a button

How to turn up trousers

and in the spirit of Make do and mend, here are 29 ways you can makeover and use a man's shirt

Who am I now?

I was chatting to some other mums at our swim class last week when I realised that although I could reel off the name of every baby in the class...I had no idea what their parents were called. These were people I had spent more than an hour with every week for the last 12 weeks, but they had been shifted into second place behind their tiny new human.

Sidelined

Marginalised

Dehumanised

I had done the one thing I swore I wouldn't do and had lost sight of a person in favour of their kid.

Life as a new mama is hard enough without feeling as though you have lost yourself too. So many new parents can suffer with PND (it's not just for mums folks, so please be kind to daddies too) after the arrival of a wee one, particularly in those first 3 months...those 100 days of darkness, when all you seem to do is feed, burp and clean their bum, then attempt to grab a few moments of sleep before you repeat the process. A few minutes of rest before you wipe up drool/spit up and change a soaked onesie or your own filthy clothes (if you can get that chance!)

All too many new mamas feel frumpy, lumpy and lost....so you can imagine my surprise when I felt the total opposite. yes, I know it sounds strange, but despite the exhaustion I felt invigorated. My confidence soared. I stopped apologising for my lumps and podge and began to stand tall.

Yes, I am fat. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I have scars and wrinkles and thanks to the anti-clotting injections my frankenbelly looks like a junkie's. But, with a lot of difficulty, this body made my boy. I will forever love it for that, and my husband tells me often that he loves my body even more now than he did before. I was lucky. I found my tribe & have fantastic support from an amazing group of mummies who remind me often that I am still me and that I am looking good. I try hard to return the favour to them all as often as I can.

I think what I am trying to say is that your bodies are amazing, each & every one of them, so please, every now and then look at yourself in the mirror and see the true reality. You are beautiful and unique and deserve compliments, so don't shrug them off. Accept them with a gracious smile like the goddess you are. When knobjockeys diss you, as they are wont to do, tell them to fuck off. Just remember to enunciate clearly, for you are a lady. And ladies...try to remember each others names. See those gorgeous mamas, not just their beautiful babies.

Monday round up

Thanks to the magic of Anbesol liquid and the Graco swing, my poor poor teething baby is finally napping, so after my first hot lunch in a long time, it's time for a quick round up of last weeks outfits. I'm really loving my current wardrobe, and not just for its ease in feeding the little guy. I love knowing that I am still me, as well as mama, and rocking my beloved vintage styles. You can catch my #ootd each day on instagram, which lists the details of where I have got them. This week I even got to glam it up, for the first time since the little bird arrived. I'd almost forgotten how to use my make up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A mama's work is never done!

I was delighted when my pal Naelany asked me to guest on her blog  as I've really enjoyed resurrecting my own. As this weekend is a busy one, I decided to cross post my article here too, especially as parts of it fit pretty well with yesterday's Body Positivity Day. 

I'm not getting a huge amount of knitting done these days, which is how I met the lovely Naelany, but despite being deep in the new mama trenches, I am still crafting hard. Harder than ever before, in fact!

Let me tell you a little about myself. At 39, the lovely, kind,  National Health Service refer to me as a geriatric first time mama, and there are days when I most definitely feel it! I've been told many, many, times that I was born in the wrong era, preferring vintage styled clothes and I've always had an old-fashioned attitude to life, loving all the crafts I've come across. I began by teaching myself to crochet around age 16, and to use a sewing machine soon after. Twenty odd years down the line, I added knitting to the repertoire and culminated in (after a little help from the NHS) crafting my own little miracle last year.

Since my Little Bird arrived 4.5 months ago, I've found that my body confidence has soared. Unlike many new mums, I am so proud and confident in this new body of mine! I decided to embrace my love of all things vintage, and in particular the fashions of the 30's,40's 50's & 60's. As a plus size mama who has chosen to breastfeed, finding these styles can be difficult, so I resurrected my blog to share my finds with other plus-size pin-up mamas.

When I discovered that I was finally pregnant, like all mums-to-be, I had day dreams of dressing my little one in my favourite styles, however, the reality hasn't quite lived up to those dreams. There are tons of vintage-style baby clothes for little girls, but hardly any for the boys unless you've got little Prince George's wardrobe budget. Since I can't find the style of clothes I'd like, I've decided to put my sewing skills to use and start my own small business making reproduction & vintage styled children's clothes, as well as accessories such as car seat blankets to keep those tiny toes toasty for the UK's cooler months.

Getting crafty as a mama isn't easy. I hoard every spare minute of free time, and I have to have my lists, of course. Sometimes I can convince the wee dude to join me in my craft lair for a time, and sometimes I count the minutes until daddy comes home to take him for some man time. Still, by maintaining my style and getting my craft on, I help myself to retain a sense of 'me' in a time of constant flux.

On the slate this weekend was getting my first 'line' of clothes up and running. After browsing tons of vintage children's photos and several different sewing patterns, under the watchful eye of my little guy, I carefully drafted out my chosen styles, hunted down the right fabrics and began to cut out the various pieces I needed.

I'm praying that the boy co-operates this week and lets me get to the actual sewing portion! Not sure how that will work out when even as I type, and in his sleep, a wee hand has crept onto my leg and is holding on tight....and I wouldn't have it any other way. Perhaps I'll spend this nap time reading  my other pal S.M Lumetta's book 'You Are Here' instead of cutting more pattern pieces.

 

ETA- this was written last weekend...and what a week it has been. Little Bird got a tummy bug, but I still manages to sew a little. One little romper, ready to roll!

This is my life now

My wee man is 4.5 months old and recently diagnosed with silent reflux. It is so damn hard when they can't tell you what is paining them! The mama guilt is bad enough, but to get to 18 weeks only to be told that your kid actually has a problem and it isn't just teething hurts pretty hard. Our first round of meds (gavison) left him constipated and suffering from acid farts so bad that even without pooping, his poor arse was red raw. We are ten days into the second option, ranitidine, and we have the opposite problem.

Thanks to the frequent bum changes, we've been getting through disposable change mats pretty bloody frequently, but until this week, the only ones we had found were the pampers ones, 12 for £4 in most stores. However a few days ago the husbeast went on a nappy run to Aldi (hands down the best nappies we've tried...and we have tried them all!) and came home with a pack of Aldi brand mats at £2 for 14. Lo and behold, these are in fact so much better! So much fluffier, thicker, softer and definitely more absorbent! Cheaper and better works for us!

While on the subject of changing, here's a pro tip for changing those wriggly Lil boys, cos lets face it, getting pissed on is never fun, no matter how much you love them. My mama gave me this suggestions and it has worked great for us. Instead of laying the baby down square on the mat, lay the mat diagonally and place the top point at th small of baby's back. Then, if you get shit on the mat, just fold up some of the bottom layer for a clean mat again. Or, if they're just recreating the Bellagio fountain, bring the bottom point up between their legs to catch the sprinkle. Voila!

Jump!

I'm always seeing the beautiful items from Miss Candyfloss on Instagram and I've been lusting after so many pieces from the new Librarian Girl collection, however very little looks BF friendly, so I've held fire. I couldn't resist getting a few things, one of which was their gorgeous 40's style jumpsuits.

Dear God but it is lovely! It's incredibly comfortable to wear as the fabric feels lovely against the skin & the cut makes moving around simple. The handy dandy zip up front makes feeding a breeze, in fact I'd say its one of my easiest and most discreet items to feed in. there is one working button and a wee pop fastener at the top to keep things closed and the gorgeous cut of the V-neck means that your boobs look incredible, but not indecent.

My only downside is that the length of the trousers is rather long for my 5'5 frame, even with heels. I'm going to have to take them up a touch when I can get back to my sewing machine.

I wore this to take my little boy in to visit my school for the MacMillan coffee morning on Friday, as well as running a few errands in town and I had nothing but compliments and double takes wherever I went. I even has one of the lady employees in the Apple store stop me to say how stylish I looked! Enough to turn a girls head ;-)

My suit is the wine colour in 3XL, I'm 5'5, a UK size 22 top, 20 waist and 38 HH boobs. I styled it with some retro heeled sandals from Gianni Bernini, a mustard cardigan from Dunnes stores and one of my own hand knitted hair snoods. How do you wear yours?

Www.miss-candyfloss.com

Redheads can't wear pink

So when I finally got up this morning, the sun was shining merrily and I couldn't wait to get out and about. I've never been much of a one for rules, so despite my red hair, there is the odd item of pink in my wardrobe. Not long ago I bought a gorgeous pink and white polka dot dress from Lindy Bop and today was the day to give it an airing. Fully lined, the fabric feels gorgeous, flows beautifully and there is enough give in it for me to pop a boob out around the wrap front. My only downside is that I can still see my bra peeping out the front, but that's more of an issue with the quality of nursing bras available in a 38HH/J, and nothing that a small popper won't fix, when I get around to it. The length is ideal for me (5'5) and it left me feeling flirty and fabulous...with nowhere to go 😉 check www.lindybop.co.uk to see if they have your size!

 

 

 

This body's too boobylicious!

So my name has changed twice in the last two years, with a wedding and a baby, and it's not only thing to have changed. Those of you who know me, know that I have always loved the vintage silhouettes of the 30's, 40's & 50's, but I'd never had the confidence in myself, or my plus size, to wear those styles full time. Over the last 3-4 years, my confidence has been slowly climbing, and in the last few months, after discovering an amazing group of women (yes RetroMummies, I'm looking at you!), I decided to say screw it and I stopped giving fucks about what others thought of me and my style. As always, my weight has yo-yoed, but since the birth of my boy, I'm at the largest I've been in a very long time. 

Yet, I'm also at the most confident I have ever been. I made a human with this body! A whole tiny human was nurtured and grown inside me. Hell yes, I've got a muffin top, that's where they cut me open to get my kid out and I wouldn't exchange it for any old six pack. Are my boobs ginormous? Indeed they are, they are the sole source of sustenance of my kid, and I never cease to be amazed, annoyed and intrigued by them these days. 

However, breastfeeding, and being a plus size mama, have their own issues, especially when you aspire to look fabulously vintage on a daily basis. Finding clothes that are easy to feed in, comfortable to wear, and affordable on maternity pay, is not an easy job. So in an effort to assist those other statuesque mamas,and mamas-to-be, I've decided to resurrect this blog and document my finds, along with my ups and downs as a mama, for those who come after me. Summer is drawing to a close, and the nights are getting both darker and cooler. Soon will be the time when I used to haul out my sweaters and jeans and hibernate my legs for the winter, but not this year. This year I forge a path into stylish vintage motherhood! At least I hope to 😉 I'd love for you to come along with me and share your finds in the comments. Below are a few snaps from my recent weekend away in the Scottish Highlands...which I'll be blogging about over the next few days and weeks.