I've got big hair and I cannot lie

So I've had a lot of people asking me how I manage to get my hair up into a scarf. You see I have a lot of hair. A LOT. I once had a hair dresser tell me I had three heads worth, and it costs twice the usual price to get it dyed as they need to use so much dye. Appointments at the salon can take a whole day, and you can see the "oh shit" look going across a hairdressers face when I take my hair down. Hair elastics and bands take one look at my head and quiver in fear. It can break a bobby pin in two without breaking a sweat, and needs a gazillion pins and clips to hold any style in place. Added to this I have a huge head. I adore hats, and even suit them pretty well, but rarely get any that fit my ginormous head and those elasticated headbands just slid right off my oddly shaped bonce. Because of this I'd always shied away from bandana hair styles, as those measly lil things so rarely ever went around my fat head.

All that changed a few months back. I went to see the fabulous Sarah Dunn, proprietor or Sarah's Doo Wop Dos, and she set my hair in rollers for an event the next day. I'd brought along a huge silk scarf to tie around the curls, but hadn't expected anything other than the most perfunctory of bows, and totally assumed it would look like a dog's dinner. However, Sarah is bloody magic, and managed to whip up the most stylish turban. It got me thinking, and a few weeks later I saw another pal who had a lot of hair wearing a turban and looking bloody amazing so decided to give it a go for myself. After some practice and a bit of finessing, I've found a method that works well for me, and it's now one of my favourite quick and easy hairstyles for a vintage look that doesn't take much time. Below is my method, which you are welcome to use and adapt to suit yourself. I hope it helps some busy mamas to have an easy hair day once in a while, whilst still looking like you've made an effort.

First you will need a few essentials. 

Hairbrush

Tailcomb

Your preferred pins and clips

Hairspray, and pomade if you have any

A large silk scarf (Primark are currently doing some fabulous ones, like the green I've used today, for just £3, and if you are in Northern Ireland, Dunnes Stores have a few gorgeous ones in their sale too)

 

Start by brushing it out, and using the tail comb to section off the centre front segment. I use the end of my eyebrows as a guide to my sectioning. 

That done, I roughly brush the rest back into a ponytail and twist it up into a rough French pleat. 

 

Over the years I've found that the best way for me to ensure it stays up is to secure it with a few extra strong hair pins first, by inserting the pin in the opposite direction first, then bending it back on itself before sliding it into the hair. It's really hard to describe so hopefully the photos below will help.

 

Add as many pins and clips as you need to feel secure, but don't worry about it being neat cos the scarf hides everything anyway. 

Now we go back to our front section. Comb it out neatly, then back comb the Shit out of it. That's a technical term and a vital step. In order to not kill my hair, and to be able to brush it out less painfully later, I find that only combing downwards helps. Insert the comb, pull it downwards, then take out and repeat. Spray copiously with your favourite hairspray.

 

At this point I add some pomade to ends of the hair, as I find it makes it easier to get (and hold onto) a roll.

 

Now wrap the segment around your fingers and wind inwards until you get to the head. 

 

It does take some practice, but now clip the roll into place on both sides then grab your scarf and fold in half, point to point.

 

Find the centre point of the long side of your scarf triangle and place it at the nape of your neck. Secure it by crossing two clips over each other. Gently pull the side of the scarf into place (without tying it! Not yet!) and secure at your temple with more crossed clips. When both sides sre clipped into place, lightly roll the ends of the scarf inwards (see bottom right pic)

 

I tend to tuck the point in my mouth here to hold it in place as I tie the ends on the top of my head, behind the roll. I then pull the point over the top of the tie to the back and tie the ends again, before taking the point forward a final time and tucking it under the knot. 

 

Finally, I take the ends of the scarf down the sides and tuck them under the scarf, securing with yet more pins. Voila! Neat, tidy and it looks like you made more effort than you actually did! 

 

MIA....or almost

Well it's been about two weeks since I last posted. I thought we'd hit the bottom, but the following day (after another horrible puke-filled night) the GP referred us to the hospital. My poor lil bird  spent the next six days being fed through a tube, as he was just so tuckered out from the constant vomiting and the coughing that disturbed his sleep, he couldn't find the energy to suckle. A viral infection with bronchiolitis was what they told us, but all I knew was that my wee man was dehydrated and so far from being himself that I barely recognised him.

Being as it is bronchiolitis season, the place was packed & we spent two nights on the assessment unit waiting for a bed on the children's ward. But even with the move to the ward our problems didn't end. No one was deliberately negligent, but they were so overworked and understaffed that problems were unavoidable. My biggest annoyance, of many, was finding that the hospital had either lost, thrown away, or given away to another patient (😱) breast milk that I had fought hard to express. You see while my little boy is doing just fine feeding from the source, I've never been a great pumper. Apart from the first day my milk came in, I've always struggled to get more than 50mls between the two boobs & when he started refusing bottles around 4 months, I stopped bothering. As they were giving the boy 60-80mls per feed, I spent the first few days pumping around the clock like a crazy lady, and panicking when I didn't have enough. 

At this point my tribe went into action. I am so incredibly lucky to have found the haven of the Retro Mummies & Pregnant Pin-Ups group on Facebook. The women there are strong, fierce, non-judgemental and a force to be reckoned with when united to a cause. Between them, they put the call out to all their groups and before I knew it, my messenger inbox was filling up with offers of donor milk. Total strangers to me and my boy went out of their way, in some cases by many miles, to bring sustenance to my child when I was not enough. Women from as far as Luton & Leighton Buzzard made their way to MK General Hospital with bags of liquid gold to help get my wee man back on the mend. With the pressure taken off me, I was able to attempt to get some sleep (I'd been pumping hourly to try to keep ahead of the feeds) and to concentrate on being there for my baby. 

There are not enough words in any language to tell these ladies just how much their kindness and thoughtfulness meant. I was going out of my mind trying to be all and do everything and their donation gave a much needed respite that allowed me to focus on the baby. Between the kindness of strangers, and the support of our families, and my tribe, I survived our stay. There were many times I thought I'd crack, but every single time there was a mama there to hold a candle to my darkness. Even when I live streamed my hoarse, croaking lullabies at 2am, god help them, they sat through them. 

Thankfully, a week on from our discharge, things are slowly improving. All three of us still have a lingering cough, we are still catching up on our sleep and the baby is clingy as fuck...but we are home. We are past the worst & taking it easy. Lil bird even took most of his grandparents (my daddy had to stay home and mind the shop, so we will repeat later on for him) to meet Father Christmas. Despite the beginnings of separation anxiety, he was so good! We are excited about the holidays ahead and can't wait to see what Santa has in store.

To all our wonderful donors- Thank you seems so small, but it is honestly, and truly heartfelt. To my amazing tribe - Thank you. Always, always, thank you. To our parents -thank you for all the wonderful support, it was and is truly appreciated . To my long-suffering hubs -we can do this! 

 

 

Milky Time!

I'm so happy this week. I'm finally back on dairy products and good lord but it is good. Who knew that a tall cold glass of milk could be better than a cocktail? Well...OK... I won't get carried away, it's as good as a cocktail.

See almost 2 months ago, I took the lil bird to the GP as we had had a silent reflux diagnosis and were following up on how the new medicine was working. We had tried Gaviscon but all it did was make him constipated and give him acid farts, poor guy. The next step was to move onto Ranitidine and it was great at stopping his arching and writhing in pain, but shortly after he began taking it, he had an awful tummy and was having up to 12 dirty nappies a day. I was pretty sure it was a bug, but the doc thought it might be CMPA and asked me to go dairyfree for at least 6 weeks to see if it made any difference to the symptoms.

Like any 21st century mama, I googled the shit out of Cow's Milk Protein Allergy, and the more I read, the more I was convinced that it wasn't what he had, but I was happy to give it a whirl to see if things improved. It didn't start too well. I was smugly knocking back Lactofree milk and thinking that that this whole DF thing wasn't that bad at all...until I realised that it wasn't actually DF. Just lactose free. Oops! Once I'd figured that out and started again, the dirty nappies had died off back to normal levels. Still I persevered, losing half a stone in the process (cutting out snacks really works!) and I made it through 6 weeks of being truly DF.

This week I was told to have a bit of a diary binge, and then monitor any reactions the wee man might have. Monday morning I breakfasted on a large glass of milk and some biccies. For lunch I had scones with jam and heaped with clotted cream. Tea was a thick creamy risotto and for dessert I had sponge pudding with toffee custard and more cream. I waited anxiously for any adverse reactions, putting his old grottiest clothes on in case his bum protested and he blew out a nappy.

Hours went by and my boy was sunny and chirpy. He napped well for a change. That night was the best night's sleep he'd had in weeks. I put it down to his swim class knocking him out, but when Tuesday dawned he was still cheerful and happy, napping well in the day and last night he actually slept for 5 hours straight!
FIVE HOURS!!!!

Until Monday night, my kid hadn't gone more than 1.5 hours between feeds since the experiment began. I'd assumed that as he was teething and in a growth spurt, the clusterfeeding was normal, but now I'm wondering if he was missing out on the dairy in my diet? Perhaps, like his mama, he is going to love all the creamy creamy things? Either way, 3 days in and my kid just seems to get happier each day. I think we can safely assume that he isn't allergic.

Praise all the gods, cos the thought of Christmas without dairy was making me super sad!

Just call me Ariel

A few months ago I was lucky enough to win a beautiful swimsuit from Forluna swimwear, on an Instagram competition held by the gorgeous Atomic Amber  I've wanted this suit for so long that I've lost count, but could never justify buying it for myself when I never went near water. Well, things change. I refuse to inflict my fears of water on my kid, so he started swimming lessons at 12 weeks old, and this lead to that most horrifying of tasks...buying a swimsuit. 

We've all been there, standing in the oh so slightly yellow light of a grotty changing room, trying to squeeze your wobbly bits into what feels more like a sausage casing than a piece of clothing. We know the futility of peering through the racks of gorgeous kinis and suits for that elusive bigger size before admitting defeat and picking up that bland skirted monstrosity that you saw an elderly lady try on earlier. I don't think I know a single woman who hasn't had at least one experience like this in their lifetime. 

It shouldn't be like this. I do know one kickass lady in NYC who works in swimwear and they have some great stuff, but I've struggled to find anything in the UK so I was beyond ecstatic to find I'd won a suit, and the suit of my choice, no less. There was no indecision. I may not have the stunning Atomic Amber's figure, but I wanted the gorgeous green Esther Williams suit she had featured in her giveaway. I'd coveted it for years and now was my chance!

I've been holding off on reviewing, convinced that I'd find time to get some decent photos taken of me in the suit, but who am I kidding? I'm a mama to a 5 month old baby...finding time for things is almost impossible! So here we are. I got the husbeast to snap a few pics after our class and of course there is the selfie stick "it's here" photo from months back. I'm not disappointed. Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact! The fabric quality is fantastic, thick and stretchy and it's held it's colour well. Sizing seems fairly accurate too. I'm currently a U.K. 22 for the boobs (HH/J cups) and the size 22 fits ok. You may want to size up a little, but I'm happy with mine as it is. The elastane content seems to be pretty good, as I regularly pop a boob over the top to feed the lil dude...swimming is thirsty work! It goes through the machine each week and washes like a dream. But more importantly, I feel like a frigging mermaid in it. I know I am not, but I feel tall and lithe and sparkling, and I have gone from dreading going near water, to looking forward to our weekly lesson. Obviously, the good instructor has a lot to do with this, but feeling confident in my fabulous suit sure as hell doesn't hurt 😉 

Now I've got my eye on their retro two pieces...maybe in a pretty print this time? Anchors? Polka dots? Who knows...but I'm surely feeling brave enough to rock a bikini these days! 

 

 

This is my life now

My wee man is 4.5 months old and recently diagnosed with silent reflux. It is so damn hard when they can't tell you what is paining them! The mama guilt is bad enough, but to get to 18 weeks only to be told that your kid actually has a problem and it isn't just teething hurts pretty hard. Our first round of meds (gavison) left him constipated and suffering from acid farts so bad that even without pooping, his poor arse was red raw. We are ten days into the second option, ranitidine, and we have the opposite problem.

Thanks to the frequent bum changes, we've been getting through disposable change mats pretty bloody frequently, but until this week, the only ones we had found were the pampers ones, 12 for £4 in most stores. However a few days ago the husbeast went on a nappy run to Aldi (hands down the best nappies we've tried...and we have tried them all!) and came home with a pack of Aldi brand mats at £2 for 14. Lo and behold, these are in fact so much better! So much fluffier, thicker, softer and definitely more absorbent! Cheaper and better works for us!

While on the subject of changing, here's a pro tip for changing those wriggly Lil boys, cos lets face it, getting pissed on is never fun, no matter how much you love them. My mama gave me this suggestions and it has worked great for us. Instead of laying the baby down square on the mat, lay the mat diagonally and place the top point at th small of baby's back. Then, if you get shit on the mat, just fold up some of the bottom layer for a clean mat again. Or, if they're just recreating the Bellagio fountain, bring the bottom point up between their legs to catch the sprinkle. Voila!

Redheads can't wear pink

So when I finally got up this morning, the sun was shining merrily and I couldn't wait to get out and about. I've never been much of a one for rules, so despite my red hair, there is the odd item of pink in my wardrobe. Not long ago I bought a gorgeous pink and white polka dot dress from Lindy Bop and today was the day to give it an airing. Fully lined, the fabric feels gorgeous, flows beautifully and there is enough give in it for me to pop a boob out around the wrap front. My only downside is that I can still see my bra peeping out the front, but that's more of an issue with the quality of nursing bras available in a 38HH/J, and nothing that a small popper won't fix, when I get around to it. The length is ideal for me (5'5) and it left me feeling flirty and fabulous...with nowhere to go 😉 check www.lindybop.co.uk to see if they have your size!

 

 

 

This body's too boobylicious!

So my name has changed twice in the last two years, with a wedding and a baby, and it's not only thing to have changed. Those of you who know me, know that I have always loved the vintage silhouettes of the 30's, 40's & 50's, but I'd never had the confidence in myself, or my plus size, to wear those styles full time. Over the last 3-4 years, my confidence has been slowly climbing, and in the last few months, after discovering an amazing group of women (yes RetroMummies, I'm looking at you!), I decided to say screw it and I stopped giving fucks about what others thought of me and my style. As always, my weight has yo-yoed, but since the birth of my boy, I'm at the largest I've been in a very long time. 

Yet, I'm also at the most confident I have ever been. I made a human with this body! A whole tiny human was nurtured and grown inside me. Hell yes, I've got a muffin top, that's where they cut me open to get my kid out and I wouldn't exchange it for any old six pack. Are my boobs ginormous? Indeed they are, they are the sole source of sustenance of my kid, and I never cease to be amazed, annoyed and intrigued by them these days. 

However, breastfeeding, and being a plus size mama, have their own issues, especially when you aspire to look fabulously vintage on a daily basis. Finding clothes that are easy to feed in, comfortable to wear, and affordable on maternity pay, is not an easy job. So in an effort to assist those other statuesque mamas,and mamas-to-be, I've decided to resurrect this blog and document my finds, along with my ups and downs as a mama, for those who come after me. Summer is drawing to a close, and the nights are getting both darker and cooler. Soon will be the time when I used to haul out my sweaters and jeans and hibernate my legs for the winter, but not this year. This year I forge a path into stylish vintage motherhood! At least I hope to 😉 I'd love for you to come along with me and share your finds in the comments. Below are a few snaps from my recent weekend away in the Scottish Highlands...which I'll be blogging about over the next few days and weeks.