He ain't heavy, he's my baby

So we've been doing a bit of travelling, the boy and I. We visited a pal in Bristol last weekend then headed on down the country to Stonehenge to stay with a mummy pal. Her wee man has been under the weather, her hubs is away so we thought we'd come keep her company for a while.

Bet she regrets that now.

You see we must have picked up a bug, maybe at Bristol Aquarium, & my poor wee dude has been so ill. Diarrhoea, projectile vomiting...the works. When his eyes rolled in his head and he went floppy, we called an ambulance, diagnosed with gastroenteritis, we came back to ride it out only for my friend and I to get food poisoning the next day. Talk about disastrous! We had to call my hubs to come nurse us!

Being sick with a tiny baby is hard. Being sick with a 6 & 9.5 month old who are both poorly but still want to play is hell. So here is my advice.

You aren't a superhero so cut yourself some slack,
Call in the cavalry. Take whatever help is offered and take it with a smile cause you need it.
Hydrate hydrate, hydrate
Screw the laundry, send someone to Tesco for new jammies or sleepsuits and go back to bed.
Antibacterial wipes, hand gel & bottles of water are your new best friends so get that pal you sent to Tesco to stock up.
Make a comfy nest with blankies, pillows & favourite toys. Blankets can go through a hot wash to kill germs. Much easier than trying to clean a duvet. They're great for layering too, so you can change your level of warmth as your body temp goes up & down.

It will pass. Yes, right now I feel like I've been hit by a bus. My body aches from retching, my head hurts and the room is swimming, but I'm still cuddling my poor sweet boy who would only sleep on mama tonight, no matter how much daddy tried to relieve me. We have turned a corner and things will get better. Don't give up hope...you've got this!

Milky Time!

I'm so happy this week. I'm finally back on dairy products and good lord but it is good. Who knew that a tall cold glass of milk could be better than a cocktail? Well...OK... I won't get carried away, it's as good as a cocktail.

See almost 2 months ago, I took the lil bird to the GP as we had had a silent reflux diagnosis and were following up on how the new medicine was working. We had tried Gaviscon but all it did was make him constipated and give him acid farts, poor guy. The next step was to move onto Ranitidine and it was great at stopping his arching and writhing in pain, but shortly after he began taking it, he had an awful tummy and was having up to 12 dirty nappies a day. I was pretty sure it was a bug, but the doc thought it might be CMPA and asked me to go dairyfree for at least 6 weeks to see if it made any difference to the symptoms.

Like any 21st century mama, I googled the shit out of Cow's Milk Protein Allergy, and the more I read, the more I was convinced that it wasn't what he had, but I was happy to give it a whirl to see if things improved. It didn't start too well. I was smugly knocking back Lactofree milk and thinking that that this whole DF thing wasn't that bad at all...until I realised that it wasn't actually DF. Just lactose free. Oops! Once I'd figured that out and started again, the dirty nappies had died off back to normal levels. Still I persevered, losing half a stone in the process (cutting out snacks really works!) and I made it through 6 weeks of being truly DF.

This week I was told to have a bit of a diary binge, and then monitor any reactions the wee man might have. Monday morning I breakfasted on a large glass of milk and some biccies. For lunch I had scones with jam and heaped with clotted cream. Tea was a thick creamy risotto and for dessert I had sponge pudding with toffee custard and more cream. I waited anxiously for any adverse reactions, putting his old grottiest clothes on in case his bum protested and he blew out a nappy.

Hours went by and my boy was sunny and chirpy. He napped well for a change. That night was the best night's sleep he'd had in weeks. I put it down to his swim class knocking him out, but when Tuesday dawned he was still cheerful and happy, napping well in the day and last night he actually slept for 5 hours straight!
FIVE HOURS!!!!

Until Monday night, my kid hadn't gone more than 1.5 hours between feeds since the experiment began. I'd assumed that as he was teething and in a growth spurt, the clusterfeeding was normal, but now I'm wondering if he was missing out on the dairy in my diet? Perhaps, like his mama, he is going to love all the creamy creamy things? Either way, 3 days in and my kid just seems to get happier each day. I think we can safely assume that he isn't allergic.

Praise all the gods, cos the thought of Christmas without dairy was making me super sad!

Just call me Ariel

A few months ago I was lucky enough to win a beautiful swimsuit from Forluna swimwear, on an Instagram competition held by the gorgeous Atomic Amber  I've wanted this suit for so long that I've lost count, but could never justify buying it for myself when I never went near water. Well, things change. I refuse to inflict my fears of water on my kid, so he started swimming lessons at 12 weeks old, and this lead to that most horrifying of tasks...buying a swimsuit. 

We've all been there, standing in the oh so slightly yellow light of a grotty changing room, trying to squeeze your wobbly bits into what feels more like a sausage casing than a piece of clothing. We know the futility of peering through the racks of gorgeous kinis and suits for that elusive bigger size before admitting defeat and picking up that bland skirted monstrosity that you saw an elderly lady try on earlier. I don't think I know a single woman who hasn't had at least one experience like this in their lifetime. 

It shouldn't be like this. I do know one kickass lady in NYC who works in swimwear and they have some great stuff, but I've struggled to find anything in the UK so I was beyond ecstatic to find I'd won a suit, and the suit of my choice, no less. There was no indecision. I may not have the stunning Atomic Amber's figure, but I wanted the gorgeous green Esther Williams suit she had featured in her giveaway. I'd coveted it for years and now was my chance!

I've been holding off on reviewing, convinced that I'd find time to get some decent photos taken of me in the suit, but who am I kidding? I'm a mama to a 5 month old baby...finding time for things is almost impossible! So here we are. I got the husbeast to snap a few pics after our class and of course there is the selfie stick "it's here" photo from months back. I'm not disappointed. Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact! The fabric quality is fantastic, thick and stretchy and it's held it's colour well. Sizing seems fairly accurate too. I'm currently a U.K. 22 for the boobs (HH/J cups) and the size 22 fits ok. You may want to size up a little, but I'm happy with mine as it is. The elastane content seems to be pretty good, as I regularly pop a boob over the top to feed the lil dude...swimming is thirsty work! It goes through the machine each week and washes like a dream. But more importantly, I feel like a frigging mermaid in it. I know I am not, but I feel tall and lithe and sparkling, and I have gone from dreading going near water, to looking forward to our weekly lesson. Obviously, the good instructor has a lot to do with this, but feeling confident in my fabulous suit sure as hell doesn't hurt 😉 

Now I've got my eye on their retro two pieces...maybe in a pretty print this time? Anchors? Polka dots? Who knows...but I'm surely feeling brave enough to rock a bikini these days! 

 

 

Service With A Smile

During my pregnancy I looked at the information available to me and decided that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I've been lucky and have a lot of support. My journey is a whole other post waiting to be written, but being a vintage fashion mama when you are both breastfeeding and plus size isn't easy at all. For a start, there's very little to find in store...you are pretty much limited to online shopping. Then there's sizing. No two companies seem to use the same damn size chart! This is particularly frustrating post partum, when most women's bodies are in a state of flux anyway. After spending a small fortune on both feeding friendly clothes and return postage, I decided to regal you with some of the service experiences I've had. 

See in the social media age, good customer service is more important than ever. It takes just minutes for that pissed off customer's tweet to go viral and contrary to popular opinion, not all publicity is good! The vintage world is still relatively small and it takes even less time for word to get around. I'm glad to say that my experiences have been predominantly good. I've discovered a couple of new to me brands and most of them have been fantastic. Not all though. I'm going to stick to my primary teaching roots and follow the "2 stars and a wish" format today, and all items pictured or mentioned have been bought and paid for by me and I've deliberately chosen companies where I've had a slight issue, so I can compare and contrast their approach to a problem. 

First up is the UK's own Voodoo Vixen  I discovered them through the lovely Atomic Amber and was thrilled to find they'd recently updated their "curve" plus size line. Over two orders I bought two gorgeous embroidered cardigans and and two dresses. The first order had just one cardigan, which came so quickly, and was such lovely quality that I went back to try a little more. However, after 10 days had passed without this order arriving, I got a little concerned and called them to see if the package had been mailed. I spoke to the lovely Jag who could not have been more helpful (or apologetic). Less than 24 hours after my call confirmed that the package had gone missing, I had a replacement my doorstep. Both dresses were gorgeous and great quality. Sadly one is going back as the buttons on the front don't actually work, but I've told the hubs he needs to take me out so I can wear the other soon 😉

 

Next on my list is The Oblong Box Shop , in the United States. I ordered 2 of their quintessential blouses, as I am really struggling to find affordable button front blouses with a retro feel. I desperately covet the gorgeous one from The Seamstress of Bloomsbury, but sadly she doesn't do ginormous milk truck sized ones. Within a few days of placing my order I received a stock email stating "your package has been delivered, please let us know if you haven't received it". So I let them know. They replied to say that the tracking claimed it was delivered to my address. Naturally, I responded politely, explaining that this was inaccurate. I also explained I'd had issues in the past where USPS claimed the item had been delivered...when all they'd done was handover to their U.K. Counterparts. It can take up to a month for a USPS parcel to get to me. Their response to this was pretty rubbish. They told me that the tracking said it was delivered and that once that occurred it was no longer their problem. They even said that they thought my packages were being stolen! To add insult to injury, when the blouses finally arrived, the sizing was totally off. Despite ordering a size 46"-48" chest, they were a good 4"-5" from being able to button up. I'm a uk 22 in the chest, and my size 14 mama is wearing one of the blouses in the picture below. There wasn't much extra room at all! Given their previous attitude and the cost of returning to the US, I guess I'm just going to have to try to sell them on in a B/S/T group.

 

Finally I've bought a few items from Miss Candyfloss  a Swedish based company. Oh the lovelies they have! I desperately want most of their new Librarian a girl collection. I feel like a bloody goddess in my trouser jumpsuit from there. I found them super helpful when I contacted them to ask which of their clothes had working buttons on the front and which would be most accessible for breastfeeding. The kind staffer who replied gave me a comprehensive list of styles to check out. However, the trousers I bought had some stitching missing from the crotch (that was embarrassing as I didn't notice until I'd worn them all day 🙄) I contacted the company and they replied quickly with an offer to replace. When I explained that it was an easy fix and I'd already sewn it, they gave me a discount code for my next order. They could not have been more helpful and the quality of their fabrics is fantastic. They are fast to respond, as well as ship and I cannot fault their service. I also cannot wait to have a few more pennies so I can use my discount code to order some of their dresses...and we won't mention the stunning silver jumpsuit that's just waiting to fall into my basket 😉 oh why must maternity pay be so low 😭

 

Three different experiences, three different countries and three different outcomes. Thoroughly recommend both MC and VV, but if I were you, I'd be wary about TOBS. What brands have you found that are fab? Can any of you help me find that elusive retro button front blouse? 

And a final plea to clothiers. Please state in your item description if the buttons work or not! It makes all the difference to us boobyfeeding mamas!

It takes a village...to save our sanity

I'm going to preface this post with a disclaimer: before I had a kid I was a judgemental tool. 

I'm also going to add that in the immortal words from one of my favourite movies (home for the holidays ) "opinions are like assholes: everyone has one and everybody thinks everyone else's stinks." 

Basically, feel free to take or leave what you read...no judgement here anymore. 

There's a huge amount of advice out there for parents, new or old, & most of it is unsolicited. There are so many different methods and schemes, books and dvds, all claiming to be the best way to raise your child. I'm not quite sure what I'd call my method. I guess it's a little like gentle or attachment parenting, but mostly I like to call it lazy. 

See here's the thing. Babies are exhausting. You know this going in, hell people tell you constantly during pregnancy. Every idiot you meet, particularly strangers who have clearly never been pregnant, will tell you to enjoy your sleep now cos you'll get none when the kid arrives (like that's even possible during pregnancy!) But nothing prepares you for it. The tiredness seems endless and gaping and like it will eat you whole. You suddenly discover that you can manage on four hours sleep after all and that you can all asleep almost any time or place.

My parenting choices came about to optimise my chances of getting anything like actual sleep. So yes, after years of swearing that I never would (it's sooo dangerous, don't you know) we co-sleep. As a breastfeeding mama, learning how to feed lying down was my proudest achievement. Screw the feeding in public thing, that was relatively easy! Feeding on your side, especially with ginormous boobages, not easy at all, particularly when your baby is wee, with a tiny wee mouth to boot. Now I find that The Minibeast is less windy after those feeds, sleeps better too as when he's starting to fuss in his sleep, I can just roll towards him, unclip my nightie and let him help himself to the buffet before he wakes enough to wail himself into a frenzy. BETTER SLEEP FOR EVERYONE! That being said, I understand that it isn't for everyone. We just know that it's working for us, and we were lucky enough to have a health visitor with some common sense who supports us. She's fantastic...a rare beast, I know. 

I also swore I'd never babywear. I told you, judgemental arsehole, right? Not only is it useful for getting shit done, it's actually really nice to have the kid close to you while still having hands free for snacking or knitting or setting your flying monkeys on that judgemental bitch who tried to give you advice. 

But here's my problem with some of the other mothers who also do these gentle/attachment approaches. They can't seem to understand that they don't work for everyone. Yes, in my house if I'm in doubt I whip a boob out. Yes, I co-sleep and yes slings were useful...but they don't always work for everyone. I swear that on some of the parenting forums I'm in, some poor people are vilified for mentioning a bottle or a buggy, instead of boob and sling! 

Hell yes, I can clean a kitchen with my kid strapped to me. Hell yes, I can cook and tidy or dance and rock with him dangling from my front. I am mama and I'm a badass who can do anything (shh, don't disillusion me, this teething thing is hard yo). But I don't WANT to have to clean with the kid strapped to me. I don't WANT to have to resort to pushing the buggy for three hours & god knows how many miles to keep my teething baby calm. Side note, that day was 

I love that I can breastfeed my son. We have a wonderful bond and I feel like a bloody superhero when I think of my body nourishing my kid. But we've had our rocky moments, though I'm saving them for another post. Breastfeeding isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. There are some days when I'd love to hand over my bottle refusing cherub & go to the movies, or for a cocktail with my friends. 

What a lot of people seem to have forgotten is that it takes a village to raise a child. I understand that gentle/attachment parenting is just going back to what has been the norm for hundreds of years, but we don't live like we did in those days. In those days people lived cheek by jowl and everyone mucked in to help out. Not these days. Not everyone has family or friends nearby, and not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive families. Some people are new to an area and are struggling to make friends. Some people have families or friends that are rather vocal and want to rule the roost, so they give in for some peace & quiet. Lives are fast & furious and some days feel like you don't even have time to breathe. 

You breastfeed? Whoopie for you, now go warm that bottle for your pal whose kid just shat everywhere for the second time today. 

You prefer bottles? That's nice dear, now fetch that boobyfeeding mama a glass of water, cos even if she hasn't said, she's probably parched as she hasn't been able to feed herself yet today. 

Being a parent is fucking hard work so can we please stop judging each other & dragging each other down? How about lending a hand or a listening ear instead? 

 

The lost skills of make do and mend

I've had a few issues recently with various items of clothing for both me and the lil bird, small things like hems coming down or trousers being too long. I've been genuinely stunned to discover how many people will just return items for this, or throw out a shirt that has lost a button. What happened to Make do and Mend? When did we become a throwaway society? The husbeast laughed when I said I was going to use an old shirt of his to cut down for the kid, yet he was pleased that the fabric was being given new life. Hell, it's a standing joke in my family that I'll cut up old curtains to make dresses. I'm not saying we should all be seamstresses or tailors, but simple skills such as hemming and sewing on a button are really useful and should be taught in school, but for those who weren't taught, here are a couple of tutorials for basic skills.

How to sew on a button

How to turn up trousers

and in the spirit of Make do and mend, here are 29 ways you can makeover and use a man's shirt

Who am I now?

I was chatting to some other mums at our swim class last week when I realised that although I could reel off the name of every baby in the class...I had no idea what their parents were called. These were people I had spent more than an hour with every week for the last 12 weeks, but they had been shifted into second place behind their tiny new human.

Sidelined

Marginalised

Dehumanised

I had done the one thing I swore I wouldn't do and had lost sight of a person in favour of their kid.

Life as a new mama is hard enough without feeling as though you have lost yourself too. So many new parents can suffer with PND (it's not just for mums folks, so please be kind to daddies too) after the arrival of a wee one, particularly in those first 3 months...those 100 days of darkness, when all you seem to do is feed, burp and clean their bum, then attempt to grab a few moments of sleep before you repeat the process. A few minutes of rest before you wipe up drool/spit up and change a soaked onesie or your own filthy clothes (if you can get that chance!)

All too many new mamas feel frumpy, lumpy and lost....so you can imagine my surprise when I felt the total opposite. yes, I know it sounds strange, but despite the exhaustion I felt invigorated. My confidence soared. I stopped apologising for my lumps and podge and began to stand tall.

Yes, I am fat. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I have scars and wrinkles and thanks to the anti-clotting injections my frankenbelly looks like a junkie's. But, with a lot of difficulty, this body made my boy. I will forever love it for that, and my husband tells me often that he loves my body even more now than he did before. I was lucky. I found my tribe & have fantastic support from an amazing group of mummies who remind me often that I am still me and that I am looking good. I try hard to return the favour to them all as often as I can.

I think what I am trying to say is that your bodies are amazing, each & every one of them, so please, every now and then look at yourself in the mirror and see the true reality. You are beautiful and unique and deserve compliments, so don't shrug them off. Accept them with a gracious smile like the goddess you are. When knobjockeys diss you, as they are wont to do, tell them to fuck off. Just remember to enunciate clearly, for you are a lady. And ladies...try to remember each others names. See those gorgeous mamas, not just their beautiful babies.