A letter to my 40 year old self

The eve of your fortieth birthday is a time for reflection for lots of people, and why should I be any different. Life didn't take the path I thought it would take, but when I stop to evaluate , I realise that I got to exactly where I hoped I would be. 

I've achieved so many things on my bucket list, yet I always seemed to see the negatives, focussing on what I hadn't done, rather than the things I had. Nothing was ever good enough. I was never good enough. I wept and wailed over expanding waistlines, lost loves & opportunities missed. The grass was always greener in my neighbour's yard. 

But

I've travelled and lived in far flung places. 

I've swum with dolphins and had a hedgehog for a pet.

I've kissed a cowboy and watched the rodeo.

I've stomped grapes with my feet and driven a streetcar.

I've met a ghostbuster 

and visited Laura Ingalls Wilder's prairie home. 

I used the flag on a mailbox & rode a yellow school bus

I've cut down my own Christmas tree

I've ridden the broken horse on a carousel at the foot of Sacrè Coêur.

I met the man of my dreams, we had a gorgeous wedding and now are parents to the most wonderful, smart, funny affectionate Lil toddlebot. 

I've done loads. More than one person could hope to achieve. After forty years of diets, hair cuts, colours, style changes and fashion disasters, I've finally become comfortable in the skin I'm in. This body is mine. It may be falling apart at the seams, but it made and is still sustaining another life...not so useless as I once thought! 

The grass isn't greener anywhere else. I'm not rich, famous or skinny; I don't live in a mansion with a small fleet of servants at my beck and call (a girl can dream, right?) but I have a warm roof over my head, a loving family, a beautiful son who lights my world with his smile each and every day and food in my belly. For several wonderful people I am special, I am loved and I am important to them. And that's enough. 

I am enough. Enough for me, enough for my boy and enough for my family. 

I am good enough exactly as I am.

Bring it on forty...I cannot bloody wait to see what else is in store.