From the depths

They say pride comes before a fall, and they aren't far wrong. As you will know from my last post, we have the lurgy. The plague. First it was the much dreaded norovirus, and now it's a viral infection. It's bad enough at 39, but at almost six months old it's pretty unbearable, especially when the idiots who are raising you don't have a clue. My poor poor boy's health goes up and down faster than a prostitute's knickers these days. In fact, days aren't so bad, it's the nights that are a killer. I smugly thought we were getting over it...but I was wrong.

You are warned that parenting is hard. Every man and his goddamned dog revel in reminding you that you'll never sleep again, but what few people mention is the guilt. The helplessness. The frustration. The anger. At 26 weeks, Lil Bird is trying hard to talk to us. He chatters and chunters to us all the time, but actual words elude him. There have been a few times we've thought he said "yeah" but we aren't convinced. He can't tell us what is hurting and we can't explain to him why snot is pouring out of every orifice or why his throat hurts. That's a lot to handle right there on its own. But add in sleep deprivation and you discover a very special circle of hell reserved just for parents.

I have cried bucketloads this past week. My patience is long gone. I hate everyone and everything. I hate this bug. I hate being covered in puke. I hate the baby wiping snot on my tits. I hate forcing toast in when I'm not hungry, because I need to fuel up to make milk for the baby. I hate not knowing what to do to help him as he cries after yet another bout of coughing till he pukes. I hate seeing him in pain and unhappy. I hate my hubs ability to sleep through bloody anything, including being puked on. I hate resenting my child wanting me and not my husband to comfort him. Most of all, I hate that I'm having all these negative hateful feelings.

Last night I hit a new low. Understandably, the baby is sick of random shit that is not milk going down is throat and he has taken to protesting against the calpol. I thought teenagers had the duck face market locked down, but they aren't a patch on a baby refusing a calpol syringe! It is utterly heartbreaking to hear them cry, and move their head to try to avoid the meds, and I was already exhausted, so you can imagine my horror when my child unmistakably said "Mama" in the most forlorn and hopeless wee voice. It is soul destroying to hear that your baby's first words are a plea for you to leave them the fuck alone.

I sincerely hope we are turning a corner, and that we can soon put this behind us...I, for one, am not feeling worthy of the title of mum right now and I'm sending big hugs to those feeling the same.

He ain't heavy, he's my baby

So we've been doing a bit of travelling, the boy and I. We visited a pal in Bristol last weekend then headed on down the country to Stonehenge to stay with a mummy pal. Her wee man has been under the weather, her hubs is away so we thought we'd come keep her company for a while.

Bet she regrets that now.

You see we must have picked up a bug, maybe at Bristol Aquarium, & my poor wee dude has been so ill. Diarrhoea, projectile vomiting...the works. When his eyes rolled in his head and he went floppy, we called an ambulance, diagnosed with gastroenteritis, we came back to ride it out only for my friend and I to get food poisoning the next day. Talk about disastrous! We had to call my hubs to come nurse us!

Being sick with a tiny baby is hard. Being sick with a 6 & 9.5 month old who are both poorly but still want to play is hell. So here is my advice.

You aren't a superhero so cut yourself some slack,
Call in the cavalry. Take whatever help is offered and take it with a smile cause you need it.
Hydrate hydrate, hydrate
Screw the laundry, send someone to Tesco for new jammies or sleepsuits and go back to bed.
Antibacterial wipes, hand gel & bottles of water are your new best friends so get that pal you sent to Tesco to stock up.
Make a comfy nest with blankies, pillows & favourite toys. Blankets can go through a hot wash to kill germs. Much easier than trying to clean a duvet. They're great for layering too, so you can change your level of warmth as your body temp goes up & down.

It will pass. Yes, right now I feel like I've been hit by a bus. My body aches from retching, my head hurts and the room is swimming, but I'm still cuddling my poor sweet boy who would only sleep on mama tonight, no matter how much daddy tried to relieve me. We have turned a corner and things will get better. Don't give up hope...you've got this!

Milky Time!

I'm so happy this week. I'm finally back on dairy products and good lord but it is good. Who knew that a tall cold glass of milk could be better than a cocktail? Well...OK... I won't get carried away, it's as good as a cocktail.

See almost 2 months ago, I took the lil bird to the GP as we had had a silent reflux diagnosis and were following up on how the new medicine was working. We had tried Gaviscon but all it did was make him constipated and give him acid farts, poor guy. The next step was to move onto Ranitidine and it was great at stopping his arching and writhing in pain, but shortly after he began taking it, he had an awful tummy and was having up to 12 dirty nappies a day. I was pretty sure it was a bug, but the doc thought it might be CMPA and asked me to go dairyfree for at least 6 weeks to see if it made any difference to the symptoms.

Like any 21st century mama, I googled the shit out of Cow's Milk Protein Allergy, and the more I read, the more I was convinced that it wasn't what he had, but I was happy to give it a whirl to see if things improved. It didn't start too well. I was smugly knocking back Lactofree milk and thinking that that this whole DF thing wasn't that bad at all...until I realised that it wasn't actually DF. Just lactose free. Oops! Once I'd figured that out and started again, the dirty nappies had died off back to normal levels. Still I persevered, losing half a stone in the process (cutting out snacks really works!) and I made it through 6 weeks of being truly DF.

This week I was told to have a bit of a diary binge, and then monitor any reactions the wee man might have. Monday morning I breakfasted on a large glass of milk and some biccies. For lunch I had scones with jam and heaped with clotted cream. Tea was a thick creamy risotto and for dessert I had sponge pudding with toffee custard and more cream. I waited anxiously for any adverse reactions, putting his old grottiest clothes on in case his bum protested and he blew out a nappy.

Hours went by and my boy was sunny and chirpy. He napped well for a change. That night was the best night's sleep he'd had in weeks. I put it down to his swim class knocking him out, but when Tuesday dawned he was still cheerful and happy, napping well in the day and last night he actually slept for 5 hours straight!
FIVE HOURS!!!!

Until Monday night, my kid hadn't gone more than 1.5 hours between feeds since the experiment began. I'd assumed that as he was teething and in a growth spurt, the clusterfeeding was normal, but now I'm wondering if he was missing out on the dairy in my diet? Perhaps, like his mama, he is going to love all the creamy creamy things? Either way, 3 days in and my kid just seems to get happier each day. I think we can safely assume that he isn't allergic.

Praise all the gods, cos the thought of Christmas without dairy was making me super sad!

Just call me Ariel

A few months ago I was lucky enough to win a beautiful swimsuit from Forluna swimwear, on an Instagram competition held by the gorgeous Atomic Amber  I've wanted this suit for so long that I've lost count, but could never justify buying it for myself when I never went near water. Well, things change. I refuse to inflict my fears of water on my kid, so he started swimming lessons at 12 weeks old, and this lead to that most horrifying of tasks...buying a swimsuit. 

We've all been there, standing in the oh so slightly yellow light of a grotty changing room, trying to squeeze your wobbly bits into what feels more like a sausage casing than a piece of clothing. We know the futility of peering through the racks of gorgeous kinis and suits for that elusive bigger size before admitting defeat and picking up that bland skirted monstrosity that you saw an elderly lady try on earlier. I don't think I know a single woman who hasn't had at least one experience like this in their lifetime. 

It shouldn't be like this. I do know one kickass lady in NYC who works in swimwear and they have some great stuff, but I've struggled to find anything in the UK so I was beyond ecstatic to find I'd won a suit, and the suit of my choice, no less. There was no indecision. I may not have the stunning Atomic Amber's figure, but I wanted the gorgeous green Esther Williams suit she had featured in her giveaway. I'd coveted it for years and now was my chance!

I've been holding off on reviewing, convinced that I'd find time to get some decent photos taken of me in the suit, but who am I kidding? I'm a mama to a 5 month old baby...finding time for things is almost impossible! So here we are. I got the husbeast to snap a few pics after our class and of course there is the selfie stick "it's here" photo from months back. I'm not disappointed. Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact! The fabric quality is fantastic, thick and stretchy and it's held it's colour well. Sizing seems fairly accurate too. I'm currently a U.K. 22 for the boobs (HH/J cups) and the size 22 fits ok. You may want to size up a little, but I'm happy with mine as it is. The elastane content seems to be pretty good, as I regularly pop a boob over the top to feed the lil dude...swimming is thirsty work! It goes through the machine each week and washes like a dream. But more importantly, I feel like a frigging mermaid in it. I know I am not, but I feel tall and lithe and sparkling, and I have gone from dreading going near water, to looking forward to our weekly lesson. Obviously, the good instructor has a lot to do with this, but feeling confident in my fabulous suit sure as hell doesn't hurt 😉 

Now I've got my eye on their retro two pieces...maybe in a pretty print this time? Anchors? Polka dots? Who knows...but I'm surely feeling brave enough to rock a bikini these days! 

 

 

Service With A Smile

During my pregnancy I looked at the information available to me and decided that I wanted to try breastfeeding. I've been lucky and have a lot of support. My journey is a whole other post waiting to be written, but being a vintage fashion mama when you are both breastfeeding and plus size isn't easy at all. For a start, there's very little to find in store...you are pretty much limited to online shopping. Then there's sizing. No two companies seem to use the same damn size chart! This is particularly frustrating post partum, when most women's bodies are in a state of flux anyway. After spending a small fortune on both feeding friendly clothes and return postage, I decided to regal you with some of the service experiences I've had. 

See in the social media age, good customer service is more important than ever. It takes just minutes for that pissed off customer's tweet to go viral and contrary to popular opinion, not all publicity is good! The vintage world is still relatively small and it takes even less time for word to get around. I'm glad to say that my experiences have been predominantly good. I've discovered a couple of new to me brands and most of them have been fantastic. Not all though. I'm going to stick to my primary teaching roots and follow the "2 stars and a wish" format today, and all items pictured or mentioned have been bought and paid for by me and I've deliberately chosen companies where I've had a slight issue, so I can compare and contrast their approach to a problem. 

First up is the UK's own Voodoo Vixen  I discovered them through the lovely Atomic Amber and was thrilled to find they'd recently updated their "curve" plus size line. Over two orders I bought two gorgeous embroidered cardigans and and two dresses. The first order had just one cardigan, which came so quickly, and was such lovely quality that I went back to try a little more. However, after 10 days had passed without this order arriving, I got a little concerned and called them to see if the package had been mailed. I spoke to the lovely Jag who could not have been more helpful (or apologetic). Less than 24 hours after my call confirmed that the package had gone missing, I had a replacement my doorstep. Both dresses were gorgeous and great quality. Sadly one is going back as the buttons on the front don't actually work, but I've told the hubs he needs to take me out so I can wear the other soon 😉

 

Next on my list is The Oblong Box Shop , in the United States. I ordered 2 of their quintessential blouses, as I am really struggling to find affordable button front blouses with a retro feel. I desperately covet the gorgeous one from The Seamstress of Bloomsbury, but sadly she doesn't do ginormous milk truck sized ones. Within a few days of placing my order I received a stock email stating "your package has been delivered, please let us know if you haven't received it". So I let them know. They replied to say that the tracking claimed it was delivered to my address. Naturally, I responded politely, explaining that this was inaccurate. I also explained I'd had issues in the past where USPS claimed the item had been delivered...when all they'd done was handover to their U.K. Counterparts. It can take up to a month for a USPS parcel to get to me. Their response to this was pretty rubbish. They told me that the tracking said it was delivered and that once that occurred it was no longer their problem. They even said that they thought my packages were being stolen! To add insult to injury, when the blouses finally arrived, the sizing was totally off. Despite ordering a size 46"-48" chest, they were a good 4"-5" from being able to button up. I'm a uk 22 in the chest, and my size 14 mama is wearing one of the blouses in the picture below. There wasn't much extra room at all! Given their previous attitude and the cost of returning to the US, I guess I'm just going to have to try to sell them on in a B/S/T group.

 

Finally I've bought a few items from Miss Candyfloss  a Swedish based company. Oh the lovelies they have! I desperately want most of their new Librarian a girl collection. I feel like a bloody goddess in my trouser jumpsuit from there. I found them super helpful when I contacted them to ask which of their clothes had working buttons on the front and which would be most accessible for breastfeeding. The kind staffer who replied gave me a comprehensive list of styles to check out. However, the trousers I bought had some stitching missing from the crotch (that was embarrassing as I didn't notice until I'd worn them all day 🙄) I contacted the company and they replied quickly with an offer to replace. When I explained that it was an easy fix and I'd already sewn it, they gave me a discount code for my next order. They could not have been more helpful and the quality of their fabrics is fantastic. They are fast to respond, as well as ship and I cannot fault their service. I also cannot wait to have a few more pennies so I can use my discount code to order some of their dresses...and we won't mention the stunning silver jumpsuit that's just waiting to fall into my basket 😉 oh why must maternity pay be so low 😭

 

Three different experiences, three different countries and three different outcomes. Thoroughly recommend both MC and VV, but if I were you, I'd be wary about TOBS. What brands have you found that are fab? Can any of you help me find that elusive retro button front blouse? 

And a final plea to clothiers. Please state in your item description if the buttons work or not! It makes all the difference to us boobyfeeding mamas!