Alice? Who the F@@k is Alice?

I've been taking my new meds for about 2 weeks now and (fingers crossed) they appear to be working some magic. I'm finally starting to feel a little bit human again, and this week I made an effort to rejoin the land of the living. I've been to the cinema three times this week, for three very different films.

I started the week nice and slowly, deliberately choosing films that had been out for a long time, as I'm not a fan of crowds right now. Valentines Day was my first pick and I was the only person in the screen. Total bliss! The film itself wasn't at all what I had thought it would be, and this became the theme for my whole weeks viewing.

I had thought that this film would be a saccharine sweet ode to love, which would curdle the popcorn in my stomach and leave me cold. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was quietly romantic, with a hefty, but subtle, helping of comedic reality. The whole cast was a veritable who's who's of hollywood, yet no one tried too hard to shine above the others, making this sweet little film one that I'd happily watch again on a girly night in.

Next up was the American contender for the Harry potter throne, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. This film had an easy lead over the others, because it stars the lovely Sean Bean as Zeus, King of the Gods. Typecasting I thought;) Still it was nice to see him back in the armour he fills so well.

I can see this franchise doing extremely well with the post-potter crowd. The actor playing Percy is perfect jailbait for that generation and unlike the seemingly endless HP movies, the film had an excellent pace and flow, and didn't drag on forever. Kids love anything quest-like, so I'm surprised that the Greek Gods haven't come in for this treatment before now. Most of the other greek inspired epics have had too high a rating for younger viewers to enjoy them on the big screen. This movie balanced the adult elements beautifully and kept me entertained right to the end.

And finally, Last night I saw Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland. The hype has been huge, and people have been raving about how amazing it is, but as with Avatar, I was a little disappointed.

Don't get me wrong, again like avatar, it was lovely to look at. A veritable feast for the eyes, in fact, but I was expecting a Tim Burton film. Instead I got a traditional Disney movie. Pretty, brightly coloured, bastardised story to suit the Disney crowd, and ever so slightly beige overall.

Tim Burton's films have always seemed, to me at least, to be a little anarchic. Out of the norm, if you know what I mean. I was expecting a totally different reworking of the Alice stories, not a sickly sweet romp through pretty wonderland. Hell, even the Fearsome Bandersnatch was positively cuddly! He could have won Crufts, for crying out loud! Half the kids in my screen went 'awwwwww' when he first appeared, depsite the fact that he was chasing a very IT girl-like heroine through the garden.

Which brings me on to the costumes. The supporting characters were pretty well imagined, if a little safe, but it was Alice's wardrobe that really got my goat. Other than her first and last few outfits, I felt that the costume desinger had totally lost the plot and decided to use the film as her chance to showcase her ideas for Paris Fashion week. The costumes reeked of badly done Haute Couture, and the rather insipid, slightly doped-up looking actress became a mere coat-hanger for the designers high fashion aspirations. Such a pity as the scope for costuming in this film was endless. I did think the make-up was fabulous. Depp's mad hatter looked wonderfully asexual and had tons of wee details on the face to lift the character to new levels

While I'm not the biggest Johnny Depp fan, and therefore a little biased, again I wasn't impressed. I'm afraid all I've seen for the last few films is Jack Sparrow. I'm reminded of that old mothers standard for face pulling children. 'If you're not careful the wind will change and you'll stay like that!' Perhaps Mr Depp's mother forgot to remind him of this?

Now before you all jump in and say 'ooooh but it's so much better in 3D' you need to know that it WAS the 3D version I saw. I have a slight problem with this recent fad. You see unless something is thrown towards the audience, like the rugby ball in the SKY advert before the film, I don't really register the 3D. After 5 or 10 minutes, it could just as easily be plain old 2D for me. I think in the future I'll save myself the surcharge and uncomfortable glasses, and stick to the traditional method of viewing.